| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|10:06 am] |
i miss ashley
<3
i couldnt get into yahoo but i love you |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|11:55 am] |
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i have a hot girlfriend |
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| why am i up? |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Plain White T's | ] |
so it's almost 8:30 in the damn morning and i am wide awake? hmm wide awake, i'm not sure if that's the correct word for how i am feeling, but i suppose we will just run with it. nothing really has happend worth mentioning, i don't even know why i am writing in this f'n journal, maybe because i have nothing better to do. my grandmother passed away early this morning so it's been emotional ever since i found out the news. i don't know how i should feel, i know i feel sadness, but should i feel happy as well? she wasn't healthy, she was suffering, she was in pain, and i know she's in a better place now feeling no pain. i'm going to miss her---i'll just have to pray because that's all i can do, right?
lately i've been feeling depressed, i don't know why. i sometimes feel like i'm not good enough for anyone or anything, and my existence on this planet is just a waste. what am i here for? the happiness i seek can't come from anyone but myself. it's not a happiness that someone can make me feel --- it's a happiness that i just have to feel able to accomplish on my own. self-happiness perhaps? everyone has to generally feel happy, i think i'm just tired of a lot of shit happening lately. like Ashley said to me early this morning, "you never get a break" or something along that line, and she's right but that's what life is all about, events happening when they don't need to occur. i keep telling myself that God has a plan for me, and that i'm being put in these obstacles as a "test" to see how strong i can be. i guess i should be the incredible hulk by now.
well i guess i'm going to have some waffles and watch some tv at this absurd hour. maybe i'll end up going back to sleep
i miss her :(
but i hope she is sleeping well. <3 |
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| people need to fuck off |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|11:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
i am so sick of everyone judging me, i am so sick of people judging my relationship with Ashley
fuck all of you for making me feel like shit
fuck all of you for ruining shit
fuck everything |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|01:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
"Bloody Romance" - Senses Fail
Life, is floating fast away.
But I look, your head is turned away.
From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.
From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
Back into what I thought I knew, these words inside me, tell me what to do.
My heart held, in the palm of your hand.
Forget my name) Now I know, the way to go, this place inside my demented mind.
Forget my name) You saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor.
Forget my name) This time in silence, this time I win. [x3]
Forget my name) Now you will feel my pain
Forget my name [x5] |
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| i miss ashley still |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|10:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Seth & Me- "The Fall" | ] |
well i've been online for 90 minutes, and i'm fucking bored so i thought i would update this because i know my baby will love waking up reading pointless entries written by her boyfriend, wouldn't you agree? i know i love reading all that she writes. i just finished up a long ass survey, but it kept me busy for an hour. i think i'm going to write or work on some art that i started last night. i have to go back to the hospital in a few hours, i miss ashley terribly :( i hope she's sleeping and that she's having beautiful dreams. i had a dream about her last night, that we were together in bed, and i just watched her sleep. she's so beautiful, i don't know how i ever got so lucky to have a beautiful, sweet, loving girlfriend --- all in one package. :) you're jealous aren't you? you should be. so many little fuckers want her in their lives, and she chose me, don't ask me why but i'm not complaining. but anyways, nothing really new has happend. i got a new tattoo about a week ago, it's a jack skellington tattoo on my side, it's basically full out, it took 1-2 hours to do, and lets just say that it's hot. well i guess i'm going to be a lazy fucker until it's time for me to go back to the hospital.
oh and by the way...June 2nd was me and ashleys 4 month anniversary :) time has gone by fast, it'll be 4 years before you know it |
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