To Live Has Meaning Now

emo_love_story @ 2006-01-18T10:06:00

2006-01-18T15:09:18Z

i miss ashley

<3

i couldnt get into yahoo but i love you

emo_love_story @ 2005-10-18T11:55:00

2005-10-18T15:56:00Z

i have a hot girlfriend

static to the sound of you and i

2005-09-06T04:57:47Z

Really Long Survey (over 200)
Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 123980 times on Bzoink
What is your name?	William
Are you named after anyone?	grandfather
What's your screename?	ha! no
Would you name a child of yours after you?	uh, i dont go by it so why would i name my kid that?
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?	marie lol
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?	no one
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?	ha yeah, my last name kills people
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?	i dont know lmao
Basics
Your gender:	dick
Straight/Gay/Bi:	straight
Single?	uh......
If not, do you want to be?	uh...........
Birthdate:	dec 7
Your age:	22
Age you act:	5 1/2
Age you wish you were:	7
Your height:	6
Eye color:	brown
Happy with it?	sure
Hair color:	black
Happy with it?	sure
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:	ambidextrous but righty mostly
Your living arrangement:	uh, well i have an apartment
Your family:	what about them?
Have any pets?	uhhhhh
Whats your job?	artist
Piercings?	i've pierced pretty much everything but the only thing in at the moment is my lip ring
Tattoos?	ok...nightmae before christmas sleeve, jack skellington on my side, graphic art on other side, stars, character i drew on other arm, cross, and yeah other shit
Obsessions?	razors, art, music
Addictions?	razors, art, music
Do you speak another language?	italian
Have a favorite quote?	"if this is love then kill me now and save me from my life" - jamisonparker
Do you have a webpage?	livejournal
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?	no
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?	depends on who you are
Do you have any secrets?	i dont think so
Do you hate yourself?	yes
Do you like your handwriting?	sure
Do you have any bad habits?	yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?	you have a lot of talent in your art
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?	Best Mistake
What's your biggest fear?	living
Can you sing?	sure
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?	i am cool
Are you a loner?	no
What are your #1 priorities in life?	my friends, my family
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?	hell no
Are you a daredevil?	yes
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?	everything
Are you passive or agressive?	depends
Do you have a journal?	yes
What is your greatest strength and weakness?	ashley marie
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?	everything
Do you think you are emotionally strong?	no
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?	of course
Do you think life has been good so far?	eh
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?	i dont even know
What do you like the most about your body?	my stomach
And least?	my feet
Do you think you are good looking?	no
Are you confident?	depends on what
What is the fictional character you are most like?	i dont know
Are you perceived wrongly?	sure
Do You...
Smoke?	no
Do drugs?	no
Read the newspaper?	yes
Pray?	yes
Go to church?	i used to
Talk to strangers who IM you?	sure
Sleep with stuffed animals?	yea
Take walks in the rain?	i love it
Talk to people even though you hate them?	sometimes
Drive?	yes
Like to drive fast?	uh huh
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?	no
Hurt yourself?	lol
Been out of the country?	yea
Eaten something that made other people sick?	lol i think everytime i eat my famous italian sandwiches, ashley pukes
Been in love?	yes
Done drugs?	no
Gone skinny dipping?	yes
Had a medical emergency?	yes
Had surgery?	yes
Ran away from home?	no
Played strip poker?	yes
Gotten beaten up?	yea
Beaten someone up?	yea
Been picked on?	yea
Been on stage?	yea
Slept outdoors?	yea
Thought about suicide?	yea
Pulled an all nighter?	yes
If yes, what is your record?	a very very very long time
Gone one day without food?	i think im going like....3 months
Talked on the phone all night?	no
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?	yes
Slept all day?	yes
Killed someone?	i wish i could
Made out with a stranger?	yea
Had sex with a stranger?	lmao
Thought you're going crazy?	i am
Kissed the same sex?	yes
Done anything sexual with the same sex?	hmmmmm
Been betrayed?	yes
Had a dream that came true?	before or after it came true?
Broken the law?	yes
Met a famous person?	yes
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?	no
On purpose?	no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?	uhhh no
Stolen anything?	yea
Been on radio/tv?	yea
Been in a mosh-pit?	yes
Had a nervous breakdown?	having one
Bungee jumped?	no
Had a dream that kept coming back?	kinda
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?	yes
Miracles?	i hope
Astrology?	yes
Magic?	sure
God?	yes
Satan?	yes
Santa?	no
Ghosts?	yes
Luck?	yes
Love at first sight?	no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?	yes
Witches?	yes
Easter bunny?	no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?	yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?	ask kelly
Do you wish on stars?	yes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?	yea
Do you think God has a gender?	yea
Do you believe in organized religion?	eh
Where do you think we go when we die?	a place that makes us happy
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?	yes
Who is your best friend?	kevin
Who's the one person that knows most about you?	kevin and ashley
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?	do whatever makes you happy
Your favourite inside joke?	i dont know
Thing you're picked on most about?	i dont know
Who's your longest known friend?	kevin, diapers yo!
Newest?	hmm...
Shyest?	lauren
Funniest?	kevin
Sweetest?	kelly
Closest?	ashley
Weirdest?	kevin
Smartest?	kelly
Ditziest?	saba
Friends you miss being close to the most?	ha fuck them
Last person you talked to online?	ashley
Who do you talk to most online?	ashley
Who are you on the phone with most?	fuck the phone
Who do you trust most?	ashley lol...funny huh
Who listens to your problems?	ashley, kevin, kelly
Who do you fight most with?	ashley and kevin
Who's the nicest?	kelly even if shes a wench
Who's the most outgoing?	kevin and kelly
Who's the best singer?	kevin
Who's on your shit-list?	you
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?	=X
Who's your second family?	:( i miss kelly's mommy
Do you always feel understood?	never
Who's the loudest friend?	kevin
Do you trust others easily?	ha...trust....
Who's house were you last at?	kevin
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:	ashley
Do your friends know you?	yea
Friend that lives farthest away:	ummmmm, danny
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?	no
What do you find romantic?	i'm a hopeless romantic
Turn-on?	a lot of stuff
Turn-off?	when a girl talks about other guys
First kiss?	what about it
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?	bad
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going	yes
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out	no
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv	well .... i'm not shallow but no .. doesnt mean i'm not willing
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?	no
What is best about the opposite sex?	pussy
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?	they can drive you nuts
What's the last present someone gave you?	umm a car?
Are you in love?	yes
Do you consider your significant other hot?	shes beautiful
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?	kevin
You wanted to kill?	this fat fuck named jon
That you laughed at?	jon
That laughed at you?	ashley
That turned you on?	i dont remember HMMMMMMMMMMmmmm
You went shopping with?	my mom
That broke your heart?	ashley
To disappoint you?	ashley
To ask you out?	ashley should ask me out
To make you cry?	ashley
To brighten up your day?	ashley
That you thought about?	ashley
You saw a movie with?	kevin
You talked to on the phone?	fuck the phone
You talked to through IM/ICQ?	ashley
You saw?	my mom
You lost?	ashley
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?	no
Will it be with your significant other?	no
Or some random person?	no
What are you wearing right now?	boxers and a shirt
Body part you're touching right now:	my penis
What are you worried about right now?	ashley
What book are you reading?	nothing
What's on your mousepad?	nothing
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:	lost, hollow, empty, broken, blah
Are you bored?	sure
Are you tired?	not really
Are you talking to anyone online?	ashley
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?	fuck the fucking motherfucking phone
Are you lonely or content?	lonely
Are you listening to music?	yes
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to Bzoink

emo_love_story @ 2005-08-30T02:37:00

2005-08-30T06:53:52Z

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Atari
2. William
3. Will

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Italian
2. Italian
3. Italian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. country folk
2. religious folk
3. conservatives

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. music
2. caffeine
3. Ashley

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. boxers
2. tshirt
3. blanket?

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. honesty
2. sense of humor
3. trust

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):
1. i'm in love
2. i have a penis
3. kevin has a third nipple

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. lips
3. ass

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. suck my own dick lmao
2. become vegetarian/vegan (dead animals taste too damn good) lol
3. support the war in iraq

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. spending time with ashley
2. having sex with ashley
3. dream of ashley

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. cuddle with my baby
2. umm...get dirty with my baby
3. go home

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Australia
2. Maya Riveria
3. Seattle

this is what happens when you're bored...you put funny shit up

2005-08-29T14:58:23Z

emo_love_story @ 2005-07-04T10:27:00

2005-07-04T14:28:40Z

Have mercy on my soul
For my body
is but an alter for pain
Let this ritual
be completed
with this dagger and chain
Strap my wrists
to the wall of humanity
and let me bleed calamity
upon them
For they deserve
so much worst

How ive missed
this cold peice of steel
Ive forgotten
how pain
can be so real
Now you do
what i have done
but scars like flesh alike
can come undone
with one quick stroke
or one slow stab

Let me feel
once more
For you control the door
to my pain
And yet you
are to cruel
not to kill me...
You my friend
are chained to humanity

why am i up?

2005-06-22T12:44:26Z

so it's almost 8:30 in the damn morning and i am wide awake? hmm wide awake, i'm not sure if that's the correct word for how i am feeling, but i suppose we will just run with it. nothing really has happend worth mentioning, i don't even know why i am writing in this f'n journal, maybe because i have nothing better to do. my grandmother passed away early this morning so it's been emotional ever since i found out the news. i don't know how i should feel, i know i feel sadness, but should i feel happy as well? she wasn't healthy, she was suffering, she was in pain, and i know she's in a better place now feeling no pain. i'm going to miss her---i'll just have to pray because that's all i can do, right?

lately i've been feeling depressed, i don't know why. i sometimes feel like i'm not good enough for anyone or anything, and my existence on this planet is just a waste. what am i here for? the happiness i seek can't come from anyone but myself. it's not a happiness that someone can make me feel --- it's a happiness that i just have to feel able to accomplish on my own. self-happiness perhaps? everyone has to generally feel happy, i think i'm just tired of a lot of shit happening lately. like Ashley said to me early this morning, "you never get a break" or something along that line, and she's right but that's what life is all about, events happening when they don't need to occur. i keep telling myself that God has a plan for me, and that i'm being put in these obstacles as a "test" to see how strong i can be. i guess i should be the incredible hulk by now.

well i guess i'm going to have some waffles and watch some tv at this absurd hour. maybe i'll end up going back to sleep

i miss her :(
but i hope she is sleeping well. <3

people need to fuck off

2005-06-19T03:25:37Z

i am so sick of everyone judging me, i am so sick of people judging my relationship with Ashley

fuck all of you for making me feel like shit

fuck all of you for ruining shit

fuck everything

emo_love_story @ 2005-06-09T01:16:00

2005-06-09T05:17:46Z

"Bloody Romance" - Senses Fail

Life, is floating fast away.
But I look, your head is turned away.

From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.

You and me are like one heart-beat.
You and me are like one heart-beat.

So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.

From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.

You and me are like one heart-beat.
You and me are like one heart-beat.

Back into what I thought I knew, these words inside me, tell me what to do.
My heart held, in the palm of your hand.
Forget my name) Now I know, the way to go, this place inside my demented mind.
Forget my name) You saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor.
Forget my name) This time in silence, this time I win. [x3]
Forget my name) Now you will feel my pain
Forget my name [x5]

i miss ashley still

2005-06-06T15:01:54Z

well i've been online for 90 minutes, and i'm fucking bored so i thought i would update this because i know my baby will love waking up reading pointless entries written by her boyfriend, wouldn't you agree? i know i love reading all that she writes. i just finished up a long ass survey, but it kept me busy for an hour. i think i'm going to write or work on some art that i started last night. i have to go back to the hospital in a few hours, i miss ashley terribly :( i hope she's sleeping and that she's having beautiful dreams. i had a dream about her last night, that we were together in bed, and i just watched her sleep. she's so beautiful, i don't know how i ever got so lucky to have a beautiful, sweet, loving girlfriend --- all in one package. :) you're jealous aren't you? you should be. so many little fuckers want her in their lives, and she chose me, don't ask me why but i'm not complaining. but anyways, nothing really new has happend. i got a new tattoo about a week ago, it's a jack skellington tattoo on my side, it's basically full out, it took 1-2 hours to do, and lets just say that it's hot. well i guess i'm going to be a lazy fucker until it's time for me to go back to the hospital.

oh and by the way...June 2nd was me and ashleys 4 month anniversary :) time has gone by fast, it'll be 4 years before you know it

i miss ashley

2005-06-06T14:54:51Z

a n g e r section.

do you have a quick temper?: depends on what pisses me off
what do you do when you're mad?: usually punch walls, kick someones ass, or cut myself
what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: knock someones front teeth out
if you can take back time, would you have never done this?: no, he deserved it lol
ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: yea
ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: yesss
do you curse when you're mad?: what the fuck do you think

c r y i n g section.

when was the last time you really cried your heart out?: i can't remember
ever cried yourself to sleep?: not that i can remember
ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: uh i can't remember lmao
ever cried over the opposite sex?: yea ... i miss her
do you cry when you get an injury?: i can take a lot of pain
do certain songs make you cry?: no
can you make yourself cry?: no

p a i n section.

what's the hardest thing you've ever had to go through?: uh let me think, a lot of things were pretty hard, but i would have to steal ashleys answer for this one...we went through a bunch of drama together since we've been together, and it just sucks...we both regret a few things we've done, but we love eachother more than anything and i'm actually thankful we went through so much because we are closer than ever now
what's the worst thing you've done to yourself?: i tried to kill myself a few times, and one time i was pretty damn close, if no one found me, i would've died no more than 20 minutes later
what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?: i broke ashleys heart
ever had a painful break up?: yes...only one that matters
what about the old 'pain for pleasure'?: all the time
how depressed can you get?: try me
do you inflict pain on yourself?: i have moments, but i'm trying really hard to stop that shit

h a p p y section.

are you normally a happy person?: life gets hard, but ashley makes me happier every day
what can make you happy?: ashley marie, a few friends, getting a new tattoo, listening to songs that remind me of my baby, art, writing
do you wish you were happier?: it takes time, but i'm happy right now ... :)
what makes you the happiest?: knowing that ashley is happy and smiling
is being happy overrated?: um...is this a stupid question or is it just me?
what about being with your friends, does that make you happy?: yea...i miss kelly and seth though
can music make you happy?: its my medication

l o v e section.

how many times have you had your heart broken?: um only one time, but it's all better now
do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others?: no i hope she gets the ebola virus
have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?: i love her more than anything, and when i gave her my heart, i gave her my life
did you ever love a guy, tell them that, and only got 'thanks' as a reply?: i don't believe that i've ever loved a guy
ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: yea, it hurts because i never thought i could love someone as much as i love her, i'm just thankful that i've had this chance to experience true love
has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?: yea
ever stopped a relationship because they didn't say 'i love you'?: thats just stupid and immature

h a t e section.

who do you actually hate?: my dad
ever made a hit list?: no, but that gave me a good iea
have you ever been on a hit list?: most likely
are you a mean bully?: no, but i can be if you don't give me your milk money
do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: no, sometimes people make mistakes, the only thing that counts is how you mend a broken heart
do you hate George Bush?: yes, i hope someone shoots him in his big ass monkey head

s e l f - e s t e e m section.

is your self-esteem extremely low?: yeaaaaaa :)
do you believe in yourself?: nooooooooooooo
when people say they think you are pretty, do you deny you are?: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa
are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?: fugly
are you happy with who you are?: more like content ------ i agree with ashley
do you wish you can be someone else?: not anymore - she makes me feel loved and important

HAVE YOU EVER?
*prank called someone: i was a bad ass when i was younger
*been prank called: no, people were scared of me
*fallen asleep in class: yeaaaaaaa aw i wish i was in school again just to catch up on my zzz's
*been suspended: no - i was close though
*been expelled: no
*contemplated suicide: yes
*attempted suicide: yes
*seen someone die: no
*cut yourself: wanna see?
*slit your wrists: wanna see??
*flirty eye contacted someone in class: lol more like tongue action
*fantasized about someone: of course
*kissed someone elses partner: yes
*had oral sex with someone elses partner: no
*had sex with someone elses partner: no
*trashed a hotel room: yesssss
*trashed someones home at a house party: yesssssssss
*worried about your friends? all of the time
*had your friends worry about you? of course

LAST PERSON YOU:
*told them you loved them?: only the best girlfriend in the world :) ashley marie
*complimented: my mom - she makes pretty damn good eggs
*spoke to on the phone: fuck the phone
*got an e-mail from: ashley marie
*spoke to on-line: i'm speaking to andy right now because kelly and ashley are asleep and everyone else doesn't matter
*bitched with: marie
*bitched about: marie
*missed: my punkin
*were excited about seeing: the only one i will ever be excited to see is ashley!!!
*wished you could see them more: uh..if you say one more thing like that again i'm going to kill you
*wished you would see them less: everyone in this goddamn house
*fought with verbally: marie
*fought with physically: well...how physical? last time i got into a fight was a like a week ago, but i rolled up a towel and snapped it at maries leg
*wanted to kiss: ashley
*had sex with: this skank
*wanted to have sex with: ashley
*saw: my mom
*swore at: marie
*laughed at: marie

EITHER OR:
*Britney/Christina: christina
*NIN/Marilyn Manson: manson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Blink 182/Jimmy Eat World: i like them both i can't decide
*Sepultura/Soulfly: who cares - i agree
*Incubus/Deftones: incubus
*Linkin Park/Limp Bizkit: Linkin Park
*Papa Roach/Alien Ant Farm: alien ant farm bitches
*The Ataris/The Vandals: vandals
*No Doubt/Snake River Conspiracy: No Doubt
*Disturbed/Mudvayne: disturbed
*Rancid/The Clash: well fuck, both!!!!
*Coal Chamber/Smashing Pumpkins: Smashing Pumpkins
*Kurt Cobain/Elvis : kurt cobain

AND FINALLY....
*Classical/Pop: pop
*Punk/Ska: punk
*Black/Industrial: industrial
*Emo/Indie: emo

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

?????????????????????
Basic Questions
?????????????????????

1) Full name: William James D'Andreo
2) Sex: penis
3) Birthday: december 7
4) Height: 5'11/6'
5) Weight: 166
6) Hair color: black
7) Eye color: brown
8) Ethnic background: italian
9) Birthplace: Philly, PA
10) Hometown: West Chester, PA
11) Father's full name: Francesco Giovanni D'Andreo
12) Mother's full name: Anna Carprice Paliani(maiden name)
13) Sibling(s): 2 sisters

????????????
Favorites
????????????

14) Song: "187" - senses fail
15) Band/singer: senses fail
16) Actor: robert deniro, al pacino
17) Actress: Angelina Jolie - damn she's hot
18) Movie: Goodfellas
19) Book: not really sure
20) Author: not really sure
21) Clothing brand name: anything black and tight
22) Animal: i don't really have one but will say walrus
23) Day of the week: any day that i dont have to go to the hospital
24) Color: black, red
25) Food: waffles, pickles
26) Class in school: art
27) Store: i don't care
28) City: i don't care
29) Country: i don't care
30) Vacation spot: i don't care
31) Sport: lax
32) Game [as in "board", or otherwise]: strip poker
33) Car: i don't know
34) Internet site: http://photobucket.com/albums/y268/__xshadesofgrey/ <---damn she's hot
35) Ice cream flavor: cookie dough
36) Season: fall
37) Month: October
38) Holiday: halloween
39) Flower: black roses
40) Cartoon: Invader Zim
41) TV show: Gilmore Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALEXIS BLEDEL WOOOOOO
42) Fictional character: nemo
43) Perfume/cologne: i don't know
44) Hobby: drawing and writing
45) Flavor: vanilla? i guess
46) Scent: sulfer pills lmao jk
47) Quote: "my ass is on my fire"
48) Word: fuck

????????????
Either/Or
????????????

49) Hot or cold: hot
50) Sweet or sour: sweet
51) Spicy or bland: spicy
52) Fast or slow: fast
53) Black or white: black
54) Half-full or half-empty: half empty
55) Long or short: long
56) More or less: more
57) Soft or hard: hard
58) Rough or smooth: rough
59) Air, land or sea: land
60) Light or dark: dark
61) Straight or curly: straight
62) Straight or curvy: straight
63) Large or small: small
64) Fat or thin: fat
65) E-mail or letter: email
66) Phone or instant message: neither
67) Day or night: night
68) Breakfast, lunch or dinner: waffles
69) Past, present or future: future
70) Radio or CD: CD
71) MTV or VH1: MTV
72) Brush or comb: neither
73) Slide, see-saw or swings: see-saw
74) Doing or watching: doing
75) Mind or body: mind
76) Consciousness, subconsciousness or unconsciousness: unconsciousness
77) Feet or hands: hands
78) Water or juice: juice
79) Ocean or pool: pool
80) Treadmill or road: road
81) Speaker-phone or hand-held: hand held
82) AIM or ICQ: Aim
83) Rain or shine: rain and cloudy
84) Cat or dog: dog
85) Innie or outie: innie
86) Inside or outside: inside
87) Up/high or down/low: neither
88) Closet or dresser-drawers: dresser
89) Bed frame or only mattress: both?
90) Silver or gold: silver

?????????????
Love/Sex
?????????????

91) Are you Hetero-/Homo-/Bi-sexual?: hetero
92) Are you in love?: yes
93) Are you in a relationship?: yes
94) Are you a virgin?: no
95) Have you gotten your first kiss?: yes
96) Do you have a crush?: yes
97) Do you enjoy being in love/having a crush?: who wouldn't?
98) What form of birth control do/would you use?: haha condoms i guess
99) How far have you gone with a "lover"?: the whole shabang
100) Would/did you have sex before marriage?: i promote it
101) Do you believe in hookups (sexual relations without emotion)?: i use to
102) Have you ever had a hookup?: yes
103) Is there a difference between a crush and being in love?: yes
104) Do you believe in love at first sight?: no
105) Do you believe in true love?: yes
106) Can long-distance relationships work?: if you put the effort in it
107) Have you ever had a long-distance relationship?: i wouldn't call my relationship with ashley a true long-distance relationship, but it sucks being so far from her
108) What of online relationships?: what is that?? lmao
109) Have you ever been married?: no
110) Have you ever been divorced?: no
111) Have you ever been in love?: yes how many times do i have to say it
112) If so, how many times?: 1
113) Have you had sex in the past and regretted it?: yes
114) Have you fallen in love in the past and regretted it?: no
115) How old were you when you got your first kiss?: shit i can't remember
116) How old were you when you had sex for the first time?: probably around 15? i don't remember
117) Have you ever broken someone's heart?: yes
118) Have you ever sexually harassed someone?: no
119) Have you ever been sexually harassed yourself?: no
120) Have you ever been jealous of a friend for their boy/girlfriend?: no
121) Have you ever been jealous of your boy/girlfriend's "close" friend(s)?: yes
122) Have you ever been jealous of your boy/girlfriend's ex-?: yes
123) Have you ever gotten back together with an ex-?: wellll that's a long story but i guess so
124) Have you ever gotten together with a friend's ex-?: no
125) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: no
126) Have you ever been in love with someone so much that you've cried over them?: yea
127) What's the most affection you deem appropriate for public?: how public? <--nice answer baby :)
128) Have/would you ever see(n) an "X"-rated movie?: hell fuckin yes

129) Do you enjoy French-kissing?: yes
130) Do you keep a picture of your beloved somewhere?: yes
131) Would you (honestly) sacrifice your life for your beloved?: yes I would
132) Have/would you ever use whipped cream, hot wax, et cetera, in a sexual act?: yes
133) What do you look for in a lover (physically)?: you can't judge a book by its cover
134) What do you look for in love (mentally/emotionally)?: everything that ashley is
135) Do cherries or strawberries have any sexual meaning for you?: no but they are yummy
136) Have you ever dumped someone?: yes
137) Have you ever been dumped?: yes
138) Have you ever had your heart broken?: yes
139) Are you (honestly) afraid of commitment?: no
140) Say something to your current beloved: Ashley Marie --- I found something that most people never find...true love. You are my best friend and the love of my life. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you more than anything.
141) Have you ever had sexual relations in public?: yes
142) Do you have a memento from a previous relationship?: yes
143) Is there a certain smell, sight, sound, or taste that reminds you of a lover?: yes

??????????????????
Miscellaneous
??????????????????

144) Do you enjoy living in your town?: it'll do for now
145) Do you smoke?: no
146) Do you drink?: yes
147) How often do you shower?: once/twice a day
148) Do people you live with complain about the water bill because of the lengths of your showers?: no
149) Do you trust others easily?: depends on the person
150) Have you ever lied to a friend?: yes
151) Are you trustworthy?: yes
152) Are you anyone's secret-keeper?: no
153) Are you a daredevil?: yes
154) Have/would you skydive?: yes
155) Have/would you bungee jump?: yes
156) Have/would you play "Chicken"?: yes
157) If granted one wish, what would it be?: to be sleeping next to Ashley right now
158) Do you like to dance?: yes :(
159) Which do you prefer -- slow or fast dancing?: both
160) Do you like to swim?: sure
161) Do you make friends easily?: sure
162) If so, where do you most often make friends?: shows
163) Do you color your hair?: yes
164) Do you wear makeup?: eyeliner
165) Are you a person who lies a lot?: no
166) What religion do you practice, if any?: atarism
167) Do you like high heels?: uhhh no
168) Are you homophobic?: no
169) Do you like to travel?: yeah
170) Granted you are American, have you ever been out of the states?: Europe
171) Do you own any pets?: a dog named bowzer
172) Do you have a cell phone/pager?: uhhhhhhhhh yea kinda
173) Do like amusement parks?: yes
174) If so, what is your favorite park?: Carowinds
175) Do you collect anything?: dust
176) Do you enjoy having your picture taken?: no
177) Do you keep your room/apartment/dorm clean?: pretty much
178) Do you get annoyed easily?: i guess
179) Would you consider yourself a depressed person?: not anymore
180) Have you ever been to a concert?: yes
181) If so, who/what did you see?: i can't name them all, its too many :(
182) Have you ever performed in public?: yes
183) Do you have any piercings?: yes
184) Do you have any tattoos?: yes
185) Do you dream often?: yes
186) Do you frequently daydream?: yes
187) Do you have a job?: yes
188) What was your first job?: this store my cousin owns
189) Do you have any health problems?: HAHAHAHAHA that's funny
190) Are you a vegetarian?: no
191) Have you ever been in a car crash?: yes
192) Have you ever had a near-death experience?: yes :)
193) Have you ever won anything?: yes ... lax tourneys, talent shows, art contests
194) Do you play a musical instrument?: guitar and piano
195) Have you ever had someone close to you die?: yes
196) Have you ever broken a bone?: yes
197) Have you ever had stitches?: yes
198) Do you have any scars?: wanna see??
199) Have you ever had major surgery?: HAHAHAHAHA that's another funny question
200) What is your earliest memory?: i can't remember
201) Have you ever gotten in a physical fight?: all the tme
202) What is your dream job?: ROCKSTAR BABYYYYYYYYYYyyyyy
203) Do you plan on having kids?: yes
204) What phrase do you use the most?: what the fuck
205) Have you meet/do you know anyone famous?: a lot of people
206) Do you carry a wallet/purse?: yes
207) Have you ever baby-sat?: yes
208) In what position do you sleep?: my side
209) In the past month, have you fallen asleep on someone else's bed?: no
210) Have you ever fallen asleep on someone else?: uhhhh maybe
211) Do you put on a front for anyone?: no
212) Do you cry?: not very much
213) Do you have a pen-pal?: no
214) If so, how long have you been communicating?: --
215) Do you have friends in other parts of the world?: no
216) Have you ever gotten in trouble with the police?: sure
217) Have you ever committed a felony?: no
218) Do you believe in fate?: yes
219) Have you ever been skinny-dipping?: yes
220) Do you believe in yourself?: no
221) What kind of pin-ups do you have on your walls?: posters, artwork
222) What is the background on your computer screen of?: artwork that i've done
223) What languages do you know?: english, italian, a lil spanish
224) Have you ever visited another country?: europe
225) Have you ever needed to call 911?: yes
226) Do you have a sweet-tooth?: yes
227) What restaurant do you enjoy going to the most?: ruby tuesday, fridays
228) Have you ever ridden a motorcycle?: yes
229) Do you own a motorcycle, and if so, what kind?: i want one
230) Have you ever committed a misdemeanor?: haha hell yea fuckers
231) Do you consider yourself organized?: pretty much
232) Have you ever fainted?: yes
233) Do you wear a watch?: yes
234) Do you wear any jewelry?: no..i used to wear a necklace with the virgin mary on it but i took it off and if you count body jewlery like earrings, nipple rings, lip rings, tongue rings, ect..sure
235) Did you enjoy climbing trees when you were younger?: the tree was my castle
236) Have you ever driven through a cornfield?: no
237) Do you have pictures around the frame of your mirror?: no
238) Has an airline ever lost your luggage?: yes
239) Do you read the comics?: i used to
240) Do you read the opinion page?: no
241) Do you read the sports section?: not really
242) Do you spend money more than you save it?: no
243) Have you ever read/bought something "just for the articles"?: yes
244) Do you believe in aliens?: yes
245) Do you believe in God, the Devil, heaven or hell?: yes
246) Do you believe in reincarnation?: no, maybe, not really sure
247) If so, what/who do you think you were in your past life?: polar bear
248) What period in history are you most intrigued by?: civil rights movement because white people are jerks
249) If you died now, could you leave happily?: nope....ashley is everything to me, and i wanna be with her for atleast 50 more years
250) The survey is over! Are you still breathing?: yea but i'm tired

waffles are love

2005-05-24T11:33:05Z

so i'm online, waiting for my girlfriend, and shes LATE!!!!!! :) i hope she's sleeping well though.
i just ate my waffles for the morning, and they were excellent. i'm so tired :( i'm going to leave around 9:15 to go to NYC for treatment, oh and guess what?? ashley just got online! yay! i will update when i get back

you're as welcome as cancer

2005-05-23T23:02:20Z

did you know that i really dislike having this disease? it is keeping me from happiness, it is keeping me away from Ashley, it is causing me to stress, and it's causing me to just go insane..not to mention, the people who love and care for me going through the same shit, and to be worried. it just sucks because as much as i feel like i need to stay here and go through this so-called treatment, i don't feel like i'm really sick. people around me can't even tell that i have leukemia, but i guess the tests tell me that i'm wrong and that i need to be here. so here i am again, going back and forth, staying in hospitals, slowly defeating this battle. . . i just wish it would give up already.

Ashley gives me the strength i need to fight. when i think of her, i know that she's there for me, caring, and loving. i know that she's not going anywhere, she deserves a medal for sticking with me during this time of my life. i know i say that a lot, and i'm sure you are wondering what kind of heartless girl would ditch me in this time of need. . . you would be surprised. i love Ashley more than anything in the world. i'm so lucky that we found eachother, i should really thank our mutual friend Kelly, she pretty much made it possible for Ashley and myself to fall so hard for eachother. . .without knowing Kelly, i doubt that i would even have known Ashley. . .so thanks Kel :)

I plan to marry Ashley. . .i think about our future all the time, especially when i'm in the hospital. . . it's going to be perfect. we're perfect for eachother.

as for other news, i still haven't seen Star Wars Episode III which sucks ass. . .Kevin bought a bootleg copy but it has bad lighting and chinese subtitles, and yeah that just isn't working for me. . .i guess i can wait. . .if i can wait this long to see my baby, i can wait for anything i suppose.

all of my journal entries are about my girlfriend, i guess it's true that when you're in love, that special someone is always on your mind and you always have to find a way to talk about them, or say their name. our 4 month anniversary is next week :) time has gone by fast. . .

i'm not another stupid little teenage fucking whore

2005-05-10T20:58:46Z

You' Stuff

001. What is your name: Atari
002. Spell your name backwards: iratA
003. Date of birth: December 7, 1982
004. Male or female: male
005. Astrological sign: Sagittarius
006. Nicknames: atari lol, poophead, dork, game-boy? lmao
007. Occupation: tattoo artist/body piercer
008. Height: 5'11-6'
009. Weight: 163
010. Hair color: black
011. Eye color: brown
012. Where were you born: Philadelphia, PA
013. Where do you reside now: Myrtle Beach, SC
014. Age: 22
015. Screen names: x Dude U Suck x
016. E-mail addy: emo_love_story@yahoo.com
017. What does your screen name/email stand for: ummm..i dont know, i thought it was funny
018. What is your LJ name: emo_love_story
019. What does your LJ name stand for: i'm a hopeless romantic
020. Pets: boxer named bowzer, my goldfish died :(
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake: uh..2 because i didnt feel like having 22 candles on a birthday cake
022. Piercings: ears, eyebrow, lip, tongue, nipples
023. Tattoo's: cross on my back, stars everywhere, atari logo on my collarbone, graphic drawning on my side
024. Shoe size: 12
025. Righty or lefty: both, mostly righty though
026. Wearing: my holey jeans and a black wifebeater
027. Hearing: starting line
028. Feeling: in love
029. Eating/drinking: coca cola, milky way

Guys & Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff

061. Have you ever been in love: i am now
062. How many people have you said 'i love you' to: if your talking about love love then 2...only meant it once
063. How many people have you been in love with: 1
064. How many people have you kissed: haha thats funny
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: yes
066. How many people have you dated: umm..well serious relationships 2
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl: sense of humor, smart..i preferably like dirty emo girls named ashley :)
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for: dirty emo girls :)
073. Do you have a crush right now: uh yea
074. If so who is it: ashley really isnt my crush because i have her already :) but if i had to say that i was crushin on someone it would be keira knightley, emmy rossum, jessica alba, and eliza dushku
075. Do you believe in love at first sight: no
076. Do you remember your first love: very clearly
077. Who is the first person you kissed: heather
078. Do you believe in fate: yes
079. Do you believe in soul mates: yeppp
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: i already have

~Family Stuff~

104. How many siblings do you have: 2 sisters
105. What are your parents names: Anna and Francesco

106. What are your siblings names: Eva & Marie
107. How many siblings does your mother have: ummm 11
108. How many siblings does your father have: ummm 7
109. Where are your parents from: Venice Italy
110. Is your family close: not that close
111. Does your family get together for holidays: unfortunately
112. Do you have a drunk uncle: mhmm
113. Any medical problems run through your family: cancer, heart disease
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee: nope
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews: nope not yet
116. Are your parents divorced: no
117. Do you have step parents: no
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: no
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country: uh everyone lol

Music Stuff

121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life: this is a hard one and since it's playing right now i will have to say "ohio is for lovers" - hawthorne heights because i'm away from my girlfriend right now and it kinda reminds me of myself...or sum 41 "pieces"
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own: probably creed, they suck but i got their cd for free so why not
123. What's the best cd you own: senses fail, both of them lol
124. What song do you absolutely hate: that damn incomplete song by bsb
125. Do you sing in the shower: yes
126. What song reminds you of that special someone: theres too many...any lovey dovey song

Favorites

152. Color: black
153. Food: cheeseburgers
154. Song: "187" and "bloody romance" - senses fail
155. Show: the simpsons, will & grace
156. School subject: art
157. Band/singer/artist: band: god dammit...senses fail bitches
159. Outfit: anything tight and worn
160. Radio station: they all suck
161. Movie: goodfellas, donnie brasco, the godfather and of course finding nemo
162. Pair of shoes: black chucks
163. Cartoon: the simspons
164. Actor: robert deniro, al pacino, johnny depp
165. Actress: penelope cruz
166. Potato chip: cool ranch doritos
167. Drink: coca cola baby
168: Soda: ^^^^
169. Holiday: halloween
170. Perfume/cologne: polo sport
171. Pizza topping: mushrooms, onions, peppers
172. Jello flavor: cherry
173. Lunch meat: ham
174. Card Game: texas hold'em
175. Video game: anything racing
176. Website: www.dirtyemochicksnamedashley.com
177. Book: i dont read much
178. Computer game: i like tetris just fine lol
179. Number: 2 =P
180. Cereal: I WANT ME LUCKY CHARMS!!!
181. Comedian: chris rock
182. Dessert: cake, brownies
183. Disney character: nemo or dopey
184. Clothing store: hot topic and pac sun i suppose
185. Past time: writing
186. Teacher: shit i dont even know
187. Childhood toy: i had a MY PET MONSTER
188. Carnival game/ride: umm the mind scrambler
189. Candy bar: hersheys cookies'n'cream
190. Magazine: AP
191. Salad dressing: ranch
192. Thing to do on the weekend: umm sleep lol
193. Hot drink: vanilla latte from starbucks
194. Season: Autumn
195. Sport to watch: lacrosse
196. Person to talk to online: ashley :)

Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits

197. What color are your sheets: black
198. What color are your bedroom walls: i have walls?
199. Do you have posters on your wall: yes
200. If so of what: umm keira, jessica, eliza, every and you can think of, italy flag, artwork ive done
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom: yes
202. How many pillows are on your bed: 4
203. What do you normally sleep in: boxers
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: my baggy black satin pants with red stars
205. What size bed do you have: queen
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: regular mattress
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: uhm my cell phone lmao
208. ---Where did this one go?---
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: umm i found ashley in a bathroom tub filled with her own blood =(
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yes i have a teddy bear
211. How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed: umm 2 ?
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions: no
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling: no
214. Do you snore: no
215. How about drool: lol yes i do
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room: yes
217. What color is the carpet in your room: grey?
218. What's under your bed: art supplies, old magazines, journal, books,

i love her so much

2005-05-09T06:34:18Z

A lot of shit isnt going right in my life right now. I've been depressed all day...for starters, a good friend of mine, his father who was like a father to me passed away in his sleep last night...when I found that out, my heart dropped. I feel so bad, I wanted to just get in my car and drive home that minute, but then I thought to myself, when I get there - what can I do? ... the answer - not a damn thing. I just hope Seth knows that if he needs anyone to talk to, or anything at all, that i'm here. He's like a brother to me, so Seth ... i'm here.

This fucking leukemia shit is for the birds. I really hate hospitals, I never wanna step foot in another hospital again when this treatment is finished. I hate it. Its keeping me from the one thing that keeps me sane - my girlfriend. I wished so bad that she was here with me tonight. She makes me feel so comfortable and strong, and just her love and support makes me wanna conquer this disease. I'm doing this for her, for our future. Sure I would probably do it for me too, but honestly, I wouldn't care half as much. I've never been so happy before in my life, she makes me feel things I never thought I could. I found something more than just a girlfriend...I found a best friend, and most of all - a soul mate. I'm just ready to get out of here, and go back home. I'm just getting tired, I get like this a lot, but today has just crashed into me and made me go nuts. I left the hospital early tonight because I just didn't feel like being there, and while I was there, I fell asleep and had a terrible dream dealing with Ashley, so that kinda triggered me to come home and talk to her. When I got home, she wasn't online and I heard that she was in pain all day long, and most likely asleep, but she got online anyways...to make sure that I was okay...i love her so much, I guess i can't say that enough. I'm just so thankful that I have her in my life. I am the luckiest guy in the world. If anyone hasn't ever been in love before, I advise that you never go looking for it, because if you don't look for it, it will come to you, trust me. I was at the point of my life, thinking that I was done with love and relationships altogether...I didn't care about it...but then, destiny brought Ashley and myself together....and I fell so hard for her, so quickly, that it just seemed unpossible, but it happend, and I thank God everyday for that.

So my day sucked a lot more, but I really don't care to talk about it anymore because my baby is waiting for me...I just felt the urge to brag about how lucky I am to have a girlfriend like Ashley

<3 i love her so much...

<3

2005-05-03T05:48:01Z

i n f o r m a t i o n
1. name: William James D'Andreo
2. single or taken: taken
3. sex: Male
4. birthday: December 7th
5. hair color: black
6. eye color: brown
7. shoe size: 10
9. height: 5'11-6'

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. who are your best friends? kevin, ashley, kelly, seth, andy, shaunie
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yes!!!! ASHLEY MARIE!!!!

f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: online
2. any tattoos or piercings: umm, yeah a lot

s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: helllll f'n no
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: ummm, whatever is available
3. what are you most scared of?: drowning
4. who is the last person that called you?: i hate technology
5. When do you want to get married?: hmmmm whenever :)
6. what would you change about yourself?: how i feel about myself

f a v o r i t e s
1. color: Black
2. food: waffles!!!! the snacks that Little Debbie provied's me with
3. boys names: Damien, Milo, Malcom, Aidan, Ethan, Brady, Elijah, Sebastian
4. girls names: Madison, Bailey, Avery, Michaela, Autumn, Chloe, Melody
5. subjects in school: art
6. animals: LLAMAS!!!!!
7. sports: lacrosse lmao

h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: yea
3. bungee jumped?: hell fucking no
4. made yourself throw up?: Yes
5. skinny dipped?: yes
6: ever been in love?: Yes
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Yes
9. actually seen your crush naked?: me and ashley fucked all night.... lol and no...keira and emmy havent returned my calls lmao
10. cried when someone died?: Yes
11. lied: Who hasn't?
12. fallen for your best friend?: fallen? explain?? lmao
13. been rejected?: Yes
14. rejected someone?: Yes
15. used someone?: I think everyone has (its not just refering to intimate bahaviors)
16. done something you regret?: I try not to have regrets, but yes.

c u r r e n t
clothes: tshirts, button down shirts - Amercian Eagle strech fit jeans (dyed black) - chucks
music: senses fail, matchbook romance, underoath, from first to last, taking back sunday, bayside, spitalfield, hawthorne heights, the used, plain white t's, hidden in plain view, starting line, early november, self against city, halifax, armor for sleep, atreyu, hopesfall, TOOO MANY DAMNT!
annoyance: right now its not having a car :(
book you're reading: dont have one going yet.
in cd player: senses fail
in dvd player: shark tale
color of toenails: normal

l a s t p e r s o n
you touched: little cousin antony
hugged: antony
you IMed: ashley marie
you yelled at: myself
you kissed: antony on the cheek
who kissed you: antony

a r e y o u
understanding: Yes
open-minded: Yes
arrogant: I guess
insecure: Yup
interesting: I definately think I am.
random: Sometimes.
hungry: Always
smart: Yes
moody: Not usually
organized: meh
shy: sometimes
difficult: sometimes
attractive: i dont think so
messy: Definately

r a n d o m
In the morning I: think of my baby, take a shower, get all sexified, go to the hospital so they can poke
love is: fucking great
i dream about: weird shit

d o y o u e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: she's always online when i am lmao
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: eh no, they have it worse lmao
wish you were younger: my childhood sucked
cry because someone said something about you?: i don't cry

n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: eh
of hearts i have broken: I hope none
of guys/girls you kissed: how the fuck would i remember something like that???
of continents i have lived in: 1
of tight friends: Very few
of cds i own: like 300 or more
of scars on your body: hahahah thats funny

f i n a l q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: They kill time.
2. gold or silver: Silver.
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: Amityville Horror
7. favorite cartoon/anime?: Family Guy
8. what did you have for breakfast this morning?: nothing :( i didnt have any waffles
10. who would you love being locked in a room with?: ASHLEY MARIE!!!!!
11. could you live without your computer?: at the moment no..but eventually i wont ever be on it
12. would you color your hair? i have many times
14. habla espanol? Barely
15. how many people are on your buddy list?: 76...how many do i talk too??? ummm 12?
16. drink alcohol?: yea
17. would you date the person you got this from?: HMMMMMM nah.

the anniversary update

2005-05-02T04:21:25Z

did you know, that i'm in love with a special misses poophead who goes by the name of Ashley Marie? well if you didn't, now you do :)

i miss her so much when i'm in the hospital at days at a time :( it sucks...but i know that she's only one heart-beat away. she's my strength throughout all of this health crap, i honestly wouldn't be going through it if it wasn't for her, she gave me a reason to live. i was unhappy up until the day she told me that she loved me...february 2, 2005. a day that will always be remembered by me. the same day of our anniversary. we just discussed this and we both don't count our little break that occured at the end of feb through march. it was just stupid, and even though we didn't have the title of boyfriend/girlfriend, she still was everything to me, even if i was blinded. it was just a time that i hope to erase from my mind. time heals all wounds, so that will have to do. =) so since feb 2 is our anniversary date, today would be our 3 months =) damn time flies...the only thing i regret about my relationship with Ashley is the fact that i didn't know her before..i wish we met before, i wish i could've known her growing up, i hear about all of her past life, where she came from, everything, and i just wish that i would've been able to share it with her. things happen for a reason, i'm thankful that i found her atleast, the only way to go now is forward...

the past is the past...the future is ours.

Ashley Marie <3 Happy Anniversary geek
.

emo_love_story @ 2005-04-29T08:27:00

2005-04-29T12:35:00Z

it's early in the morning, and i just woke up, i really don't know why, i should be sleeping :(
but i can't sleep, i miss ashley too much :( i'm sure she's sleeping right now, atleast i hope she is, i don't know why she would be up so early if she wasn't sleeping, but anyways..i had a terrible day yesterday, i really just shouldn't do a damn thing because i always set myself up for bad things, like for example, i shouldn't have done anything yesterday, i should've just laid in bed and around the house all day long, but like a dumbass, i wanted to send off some stuff and do other things, and what do i get out of it?? a car accident :( my car is totalled so my uncle is getting me a new one today, what a super dude lmao :) i'm not really sure what kind of car i want but hey, i won't have to pay a dime which is gravy

i miss ashley so much :( it kills me being so far from her, i love her, i fell in love with her so easily it scared me at first, i admit, but now, i think that it was destiny..i believe that she's my soul mate

i have to go to the hospital today :( i hope i get to talk to her before i go, because i'm staying the night
this sucks

i love you more than anything Ashley Marie <3

oh and i made up a few aim screen names, and if you are cool i will let you have the one i'm using :)

love makes me want to live

2005-04-28T13:51:09Z

I'm so in love with my loving girlfriend....She's the best thing in my life and i'm so lucky to have her.

:)

i'll be making a new aim screen name

emo_love_story @ 2005-04-26T09:49:00

2005-04-26T13:52:11Z

so i woke up pretty damn early this morning, and i just got out of the shower. i went to NYC yesterday to get the results of my blood tests and sure enough i have to stay longer for more treatment :( it sucks hardcore but what can i do? i'm here for a reason and i'm not going to leave until i'm 100% cured because i have someone waiting for me who deserves all of me.

i have to go shopping this morning/afternoon to get Kelly's birthday present. i'm not really sure what i'm going to get her but i have a few ideas. i'm going to mail it off this afternoon or tomorrow. whatever it is, i'm sure she'll like it, she's not hard to please :)

the next part of my entry is for my girlfriend.........

Ashley Marie, i love you, i miss you, and i need to talk to you...because you know how to keep me sane

okay i'm going to get ready and then go to the mall

there's my update :)

i'm the luckiest guy

2005-04-25T05:45:34Z

well guess what fuckers, i'm still in PA!!! WHOOOT!!! GO LEUKEMIA!!!!!!!!!!!yeah i hope all of you know that i'm being sarcastic a*hole

here is a list of reasons why i hate it here

1. My dad is the biggest asshole in the world
2. I miss Ashley more than anything
3. I'm not going to be there for Kelly's 21st Birthday
4. I miss my bed
5. I miss Ashley Marie
6. I miss my friends
7. I miss Chicken Bowls
8. I miss sitting on the beach at night
9. I miss Ashley
10. I miss Ashley

if you haven't noticed, i really miss Ashley
I honestly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her though, so i'm thankful that she has brought meaning to my life, and reason to fight because I want to be in her life for the rest of eternity. She's my angel, my best friend, my everything. I feel like when I'm at the hospital for days at a time, I'm lost. I'm lost without her. I just read all of her old journal entrys and they were mostly about her ex, and it didn't bother me. Today me and her had a little argument mainly because i'm a dumbass and don't think before I speak sometimes. But we're better now, better than ever, because i know she loves me, and i know that she only wants to be with me. That makes me feel so good. Best feeling in the world. She gives me hope. No one has ever done that before. I'm so lucky...I can't imagine my life without her..that would just be stupid cause when you think of who Atari is, you can't imagine Atari without Ashley :) she completes me

any other news? not really, i'm kinda sick of a few people in my life, and they know who they are, i won't call them out, but they are jack asses and i don't want anything to do with them at the moment, if at all

okay well I guess that's all i'm going to write about now. When something else happens in my life I will update

I LOVE ASHLEY MARIE!!!!

emo_love_story @ 2005-04-12T12:42:00

2005-04-12T16:41:42Z

How well do you think you know me? by Ash
What is my full name?	Ashley Marie Nystrom
When was I born?	July 12
Where?	PA
If I could change my first name, what would it be?	lol i dont know this one
What is my favorite color?	grey/purple/black
What is the name of my "hometown":	Cuba
What is my favorite animal?	hippo
Name my top 3 favorite bands:	the used, senses fail, matchbook romance
Name the 2 singers (not from a band) I am obsessed with (one male, one female):	ashlee simpson and ryan cabrera
If I could fuck anyone in the world, who would it be? (I know there's alot, but I am thinking of one in particular)	bert
Which is my favorite ninja turtle?	donatello
What is my favorite TV show?	gilmore girls
Do I get along with my family?	no
What is the name of my dog back home, and what kind of dog is it?	ummm i dont know the name but its a rottweiler
Name a few things that annoy me:	when people try to tell you how you feel, when people try to tell you what to do, and when people give up so easily
Name one thing I HATE:	big suv's
Name one thing I LOVE:	you're loving boyfriend, oh wait thats ME
Who are my best friends?	jess, kelly
Name one bad habit that I have:	self injury
Tell me something that you don't like about me:	letting people give up so easily
Who do I hate more than ANYONE else in this forsaken world?	your stepdad
What is my favorite movie?	forrest hump, the porno version of forrest gump :) jk gump
Name one obsessive-compulsive thing that I do:	hmmmmm ... organizing your cd collection lol
What kind of car am I in love with?	i forgot this one too
What 2 things do I collect?	ducks and ninja turtles
Do you think that I should get implants?	no
Do you love me?	yes
How much?	theres not enough words to describe, not enough actions to show
Why?	you're my everything
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

emo_love_story @ 2005-04-03T15:40:00

2005-04-03T19:42:13Z

i haven't written in this journal in a long time, so i thought it was time to do just that, especially since i promised a certain girl that i would i'm still in PA, still doing treatment, yeah probably a lot of people dont know that i've still been under treatment ever since february, but what can you do? i dont like to worry people, especially people whom i care for. me and ash are back together, which is great because she gives me so much strength to go through all of my treatment. if it wasnt for her, cancer would be kicking my ass, but i refuse to give up, i have too much to live for now.

i need to get a haircut, its getting all shaggy again, my hair grows like whoa. i haven't able to sleep very well the past few nights, mainly because i'm all congested and it just sucks because i get all stuffy and i cough so much it hurts :( i'm dying, just kidding! i elevated my mattress and that helped a bunch so its okay, tonight im taking some sleeping pills though cause i have to be at the hospital butt ass early in the morning and wont have time to struggle with sleeping difficulties :( it sucks to be me sometimes.

i saw sin city on friday, which was a kick all kinds of ass movie! jessica alba, i swear, my penis was having naughty thoughts, and alexis bledel, damn i would love to corrupt her, i feel like she's very innocent, but thats another entry :) the art direction was perfect in the movie, go see it if you havent already, i think im gonna go see it again sometime this week!!!!!

well there isnt much left to talk about, and im in a bit of a hurry so i'm going to wrap it up for now. i have to go pick up my sister and then go spend some time with relatives i havent seen in a long time. hopefully i'm back early but ihave a feeling im going to be strung out :( so sad!

alright well i'm out

ashley marie rocks my socks

emo_love_story @ 2005-03-30T01:59:00

2005-03-30T07:20:33Z

1.) Age: 22
2.) Have you ever had sex?: yes
3.) How many sexual partners have you had?: ahhhh quite a few
4.) What's a rough estimate on the number of times you've had sex?: i lost count
5.) Do you have sex with or without protection?: eh, i dont like protection but hey..u know what they say, protect your lover, wear a rubber
6.) If you have sex without protection, do you have any fucking clue how fuckin' stupid you are?: yes i do
7.) Do you shave...you know...down there?: trim sureee
a.) How often?: whenever i feel the need to? lol

Now the juicy stuff...

8.) Have you kissed a member of the same sex?: all the time
9.) If yes, how many times?: lost counttttt
10.) If yes, was there alcohol involved?: yes a few times, but alcohol doesnt have to be a factor :)
11.) Have you given/ gotten head?: yes
11.) Have you ever been eaten out/ate somebody out?: yeppp
12.) Be honest - is it better to give than receive?: well...i cant answer that, because as much as i love getting head, i enjoy licking clit and making you moan
13.) Have you ever given/received a handjob?: yes
14.) Have you ever been fingered?: um, i have fingered girls
15.) Have you ever had a threesome?: not yet
16.) Have you ever had sex in a room with more than three people in it?: no
17.) Have you ever participated in an orgy?: no
18.) Ever swapped partners with a friend?: Fuck that, i dont like sloppy seconds
19.) How many times do you have sex in one day?: damn, 5 or 6 i think

Come on, how do ya like it?

1.) Guy on top?: hell yea, i like to be in control
2.) Girl on top?: but then again..i LOVE it when the girl is in control

3.) Standing up?: hell yea i'm down
4.) From behind?: and SPANKIN THAT ASS lmao
5.) Fast and hard or nice and slow?: both..i like to mix it all up, nice and slow....sweet kisses...and then doing it harder and faster...ooo
6.) Rough and tumble or kiss me tender?: well, sounds like the previous question..i like it both ways
7.) Dominant (FUCK ME NOW!) or Submissive (I'll do whatever you want)?: i love it when the girl is dominant :) turns me on hardcore
8.) Are you ultra-loud or nice and quiet?: nice and quiet, i will make ashley loud :)
9.) To be spanked or not to be spanked?: sure why not lol
10.) Acrobatic or conventional?: sounds interesting but guys arent as limber as chicks are
11.) Soft R&B or HEAVY METAL!!!?: the fuck?? how about...the weather channel?
12.) Ice cream, strawberries, fudge and the works?: mmm..i can make a sundae on ashley
13.) Clean and sterile or down and dirty?: damn whenever i'm horny i dont give a damn
14.) Nibbles or bites?: both
15.) Hit it and dip or stay and cuddle?: i love to stay and cuddle, thats the best part :)
16.) Hairy, trimmed or clean shaven?: trimmed
17.) Pull my hair! or Keep your hands to yourself!: damn i will be abused, i dont care....
18.) "Enter through the exit" or "NO ENTRY ALLOWED!"?: well...no....
19.) One on one or the more the better?: one on one,even though a 3some would rock, i dont like to share for the most part
20.) Whisper sweet nothings or moaning dirty words?: baby i love you...OH GOD, YOU LIKE THAT DONT YOU lmao, i can do both :)

That's all good, but where do you do it?

1.) In a car (back-seat, windows up...)?: if the car is a-rockin, dont come a-knockin
2.) In a pool?: all wet...making waves :)
3.) In the shower?: i had an erotic dream one time with ash :) i dont think i ever told her
4.) In the great outdoors?: all the animals can watch if they want
5.) In the rents room?: hell yeah, lets do it!
6.) In a Jacuzzi?: oh definately..it would feel great
7.) On the couch?: mmmmm
8.) In public?: well...not to fuck
9.) In a friends house?: why even ask? lol
10.) On a friends bed?: oh yeah, make sure we get stains all over the sheets too
11.) On a friend's parents bed?: haha sure
12.) In a movie theater?: =)

DUDES

How many times can you go? i'm the energizer bunny...i dont stop until i make her cream atleast...a few times and whenever she gets tired
How long? how long what? my dick? or the sex?

CHICKS

Shag me once or fuck me raw?: i'll fuck you raw
Delicate foreplay or shut up and fuck me?: shut up and fuck me HARD

The other stuff

1.) Have you gotten any piercings to enhance sexual pleasure?: nope.
2.) Male - ever popped a Viagra? no, i dont need to, my dick is popped up as i type
3.) Female - Ever MADE your boyfriend/butt buddy/whoever take a viagra?: ----

4.) Do you masturbate?: all the time
a.) How often?: whenever i feel the need
5.) Does the survey make you horny?: um yeah..thank you ash :) i love you baby

emo_love_story @ 2005-03-21T22:14:00

2005-03-22T03:45:33Z

LAST PERSON WHO
x. Who's bed you slept in: my little cousins while watching Finding Nemo
x. Saw you cry: ummmmmm....i dont know
x. Made you cry: ummmm...i dont know
x. You spent the night with: Kevin is always here
x. You shared a drink with: i shared chocolate milk with antony tonight, alcohol i'd have to say NO ONE cause its MINE biatch
x. You went to the movies with: Kevin
x. You went to the mall with: Kevin, Marie
x. Yelled at you: the poor soul i call my father
x. Sent you an email: ashley
x. You kissed: Kevin lmao

HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it? of course
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: no but bowzer farts a lot and pollutes the room
x. Been to New York: yes i haveee
x. Florida: yessa
x. California: nope
x. Hawaii: nope
x. Mexico: nope
x. China: nope
x. Canada: nope
x. Danced naked: the dancing dick, NO
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: ummm no?
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: yeah i'd be playing with myself all the time
x. Had an imaginary friend: yes!!!!!!
x. Fought with your parents: of course

x. Things you like in a girl: honest, loving, beautiful, caring, open minded/open hearted :)
x. What book are you reading now: nothing at the moment
x. Worst feeling in the world: lonliness, depressed, heartboken
x. What is the first thing you think when you wake up: if i really have to wake up or can i go back to bed
x. Future daughter's name: ummmmm.....Kailee
x. Future son's name: ummmm......Dominic/Damion/Sebastian/Malcom/Milo, take your pick
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yep :)
x. What's under your bed: clothes, books, magazines, guitar picks, journal
x. Favorite sport to watch: lax, soccer, baseball
x. Current Age: 22
x. Siblings: 2 sisters
x. Location: bedroom, west chester, pa
x. Piercings/tattoos: 7 piercings(lobes,tongue, lip, eyebrow, nipples) , 9 tattoos(atari logo, 5 stars, star band, graph design, cross)
x. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Ashley

EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you do drugs: just say no
x. Do you drink: sure
x. Who are your best friends: Kelly, Kevin, Ashley
x. What are you most scared of: ummm growing old alone
x. What clothes do you sleep in: boxers/wifebeater sometimes hoodie or naked
x. Where do you want to get married: doesnt really matter :)
x. Who do you really hate: ummm my father
x. Been in love: uh huh
x. What type of automobile do you drive: GMC Envoy
x. Do you have a job? sure?
x. Do you like being around people: those who i care about sure
x. Are you for world peace: sure why not
x. Are you a health freak: nope

STUFF
x. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: lusted, oh god yeah, ELIZA DUSHKU and KEIRA KNIGHTLY

x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: nope
x. Want someone you don't have right now: yes
x. Are you lonely right now: in one way sure
x. Ever afraid you'll never get married: yea...
x. Do you want to get married: yes :)
x. Do you want kids: hell yea

FAVORITE
x. Room in house: my bedroom
x. Type(s) of music: emo/screamo
x. Color: black and red
x. Perfume or cologne: doesnt really matter, i dont have a favorite
x. Month: October!
x. Gemstone: diamond

IN THE LAST 72 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: wanted to but no
x. Bought something: yes
x. Gotten sick: sure
x. Sang: yes.
x. Said "I Love You": uh huh
x. Met someone new: ummm i guess?
x. Talked to someone: uh huh
x. Missed someone: yes
x. Hugged someone: yes
x. Kissed someone: what kinda kiss?? french no...lil peck i gave my mommy lmao